8 Brutal Truth About Life After Wedding.

Marriage is a sacred and beautiful institution which God almighty designed for humans to enjoy. From the beginning of creation, after God had created man, he looked at him and said that it is not good for man to be alone. He then put man into a very deep sleep and made for him a helpmate from his rib. After Adam had woken up and saw Eve, it was recorded in the holy Bible that he was happy. It was because of this that a man must leave his parents at a certain age and find himself a wife. 

So in a nutshell, marriage was created to be enjoyed by both peers coming together to become one flesh. But over the years, we have heard so many challenges that have risen up in this beautiful institution! We have heard of situations where husbands rise up against their wives and vice versa. What actually changed? The truth is that this institution was actually meant to help build and tolerate one and another; but most people go into it to gain and fulfill their selfish interests.

Marriage is actually full of ups and down that you can never imagine! So if you are going into it based on your own selfish interest, then marriage is not for you. Because whatever you get out of it will be as a result of the sacrifice you put into it to make it work. If you want it to be a living hell or safe haven, it is solely up to you. So in essence, i will be writing about the eight brutal truth about life after wedding.

               EIGHT BRUTAL TRUTH ABOUT LIFE AFTER WEDDING.

1} You will begin to see the reality and some hidden characters about your spouse. You must understand that when you're in a courtship, not all characters you will see in your spouse because he or she would try their possible best to make sure that they appear perfect before you. But after the wedding, sometimes you will see your spouse exhibiting funny behavior! How well you handle them and try to manage them until the both of you get along is solely up to you.

2} Marriage tests you in everyway possible! Can you be forgiven, endure long suffering and tolerate the excesses of your spouse? Sometimes when these challenges starts playing in, you would be forced to ask yourself that "how did you get yourself into this mess in the first place?" But you must rebuke such thoughts if you want your marriage to be very successful. Instead of allowing such thoughts to creep into your mind, use that energy to focus on what could be wrong at that point in time and look for a perfect solution to it.

3} Marriage can destroy you as individuals! The moment you allow negative thoughts to play into your head because your spouse is not living to your expectation, devil will start to have dominance over you; and you will begin to see nothing good in your spouse. Anything they do won't interest you anymore because your mind is full of negativity about them. You will begin to find solace in another person outside and the spirit of cheating will start to creep into your mind, which may eventually leads to destruction of your marriage. But if you put in your best into that marriage and make sure it works, the both of you will pass through any challenges like they're nothing.

4} Marriage can be a place of massive abuse. As time goes on, you will start to see in reality that you got married to someone who can kill you in your sleep. Especially if the person you got married to is authoritative and always ready to do anything to make you do his or her bidding. This situation affects the female folks mostly because they are seen as weaker vessels in our society. It will even get worse if the man is the sole provider of that household. He will derives joy in bullying the woman when he realizes that without him the woman can't survive. So, as a woman, you must look before you leap into marriage.

5} Sometimes you will get blamed for what is wrong in the marriage even though you are putting in your best to make it work! You know that moment when you are trying your best to get some things right, and the person you are doing it for turns around to accuse you that you are not been grateful? I am sure you know how frustrating such situation can be? That is what you may experience in your marriage. And if you are not careful, you might just lose the last fuse on your mind and explode. You might just give up on everything and walk away. But how well you endure and sort out the problem will determine how far that marriage will go.

6} You may not know what it really means to love and to hate until you are fully in marriage. Some of the love you may have experienced during courtship might just be a tip of the iceberg. Marriage can bring out the real love or the real hate in you or your spouse when faced with unbearable challenges. But in all that, you must try to push ahead because there are challenges everywhere! Devil may want to deceive you and make you feel that the alternative is better. Do not fall for it, put in more effort in your marriage and make it work. In all, try to see the positive side of life.

7} Marriage can make you and your spouse best of friends or worse enemies living in pretense under one roof. If you want to be best of friends with your significant other, or worse enemies, it solely depends on you. Like i have said earlier, your marriage will only be how you want it to be. Don't let your difficult situation get to the point where you will be overwhelmed, and instead of confiding with your spouse, you will start to see him as an enemy.

8} You must know that one of the easiest ways to die is marriage! This may sound odd but it is true. You may have seen or heard cases where a wife shot and kill her husband and vice versa. Things like this always happen in marriage where there is no genuine love and understanding. When a man or woman go into marriage because of selfish interest, occurrences like this are inevitable. You must learn to marry a person that compliments you if you must succeed in the marriage institution.

So in conclusion, your marriage will always be what you make out of it. But the first thing you must always consider when going into marriage is love. You must love the person you want to get married to genuinely, and be sure that he or she loves you back. Because the institution is not bed of roses. It is for better and for worse; and you will have to remain there to endure whatever challenges that comes your way provided they are not life threatening. So if you are planning on getting married because of material things, then, i think you are not yet ready for the race.

Can You Date Or Marry Your Current Self?

This question is directed to the general populace! Can you date your current self? I have heard so many ladies, especially in Nigeria, say that they do not wish to date or marry a broke guy. Some of them say so on the bases that they are not ready to suffer or build a life from scratch with a broke guy. So they often go for rich and already made guys, and neglect the broke ones that love them genuinely.

Do not get this twisted though. I am not saying that there are no women in Nigeria who are not willing to build a life from scratch and attain success with a broke guy. Of course, we have good women with right thinking faculty that are willing to put their heads down and follow a guy who is not financially stable but has a very bright future.

What makes this issue even more annoying is that some of these girls who are craving for rich guys to hangout with and possibly marry, don't have nothing to write home about. They do not have a business or a job that they can call their own. The society have sent the wrong impression that women are meant to do nothing but wait and pray for one rich guy to come around and take care of their financial responsibilities.

This issue has escalated to a point where some girls do not mind to say it out loud and ask the very popular line of question, "Can You Afford Me?" They say this with no regards as though they are a commodity to be bought in the open market. So a man is now required to be financially stable to date a broke woman!

This is just one amongst many reasons which prompted this very question, "CAN YOU DATE YOUR CURRENT SELF?" At least, if you are looking for a car owner to date, you should be able to see him in the same spot where you park your own car. If you are looking for a private jet owner to date, you should be able to see him in the airport where you park your own private jet too.

You cannot be broke and want to leave your broke boys league and be optioning for rich dudes. Birds of the same feathers they say, flocks together. Ladies, if you want to date a rich guy, it is very simple; become rich yourself and you will be able to go where the rich class are and fall in love with rich dudes.

If you know you cannot date yourself in the financial condition that you are now, then, do not stress others. Work on bettering yourself first. In this new age and time, nobody actually wants to marry or even date a liability. Gone are the days where women stay idle and do nothing. So many women are becoming Bosses every now and then.

Instead of wasting your time doing nothing or waiting for one rich guy to notice and marry you, focus your energy on finding yourself. God almighty, who created heaven and earth and created all humans, gave everyone of us a gift to change the world and make it better in our own little ways. Search yourself and look for that thing that you derive joy in doing. That's your talent!

Develop your own gift because that's the only thing that can bring you before great men of honor. Look at some of the successful women in Nigeria today who are doing very well for themselves; Great men flocks around them and beg them for marriage. When you become successful, you will not only command respect, you will also have numerous good and rich men asking for your hands in marriage. Work on yourself and become that person you can date and marry......Shalom!

Author: Osxaxs Edema

What The Government Can Do To Minimize Paternity Fraud In Nigeria.

 

Paternity fraud in Nigeria has become all time high in this present generation. In recent times we have heard cases about how a husband is not the biological father of one or more of his supposed children. Such cases have either hindered some men from traveling abroad to seek asylum or even caused their deaths.

A recent report has shown that most first child of the average Nigerian family are not owned by the men of those families. When some women gets pregnant outside wedlock, they tend to look at the men in their circle and take the pregnancy to the one whom they feel will be financially responsible enough to take care of them and the unborn child.

This problem has become all time high in this present generation that if proper measures are not put in place to curtail it, things might get even worse and dangerous. It is because of this i have decided to write this article and pour out my own little idea on what can be done to minimize paternity fraud and extra-marital activities in Nigeria.

I want the Nigerian government to pass into law and make it possible for men to be in the labor room with their wives during child-bearing and monitor the process. Men should also be given the opportunity to monitor the bathing or cleaning process of that child, because i have heard stories of how some bad Matrons/Patrons swap babies in Maternity homes.

The Nigerian government should also subsidize the cost of DNA test and make it mandatory or compulsory for every new born babies to undergo in our hospitals and maternity homes. With this, men can easily option for a Paternity test to be carried out on his new child and be rest assured that the baby is actually his own to avoid stories that touches the heart.

We are in desperate times where some women no longer honor the Bible laws and instructions that governs the institution of marriage. So these desperate times must call for desperate measures to curtail this new trend. I believe if these measures are put in place in our hospitals, it will not only minimize paternity fraud, it will also reduce infidelity in married women and premature death in men too.

There are so many young widows in this present generation already and we do not need more. The rate in which young men die in Nigeria, and the numbers of families that have been destroyed due to this paternity fraud problem is not something to joke about at all. The Nigerian government should look into this issue and see how they can help to subsidize DNA paternity test and make it easy for every man to access.

What Men Can Do To Be Sure That They Are The Father Of Their Children.

The rate in which men fathered children who are not theirs is very alarming in this present generation. And it might even get worse and more dangerous if proper measures are not put in place to curtail this evil.

A report has shown that most first child of the average Nigerian family are not owned by the men of those families. When some women gets pregnant outside wedlock, they tend to look at the men in their circle and take the pregnancy to the one whom they feel will be financially responsible enough to take care of them.

A man will be in his house observing his children and one will be behaving in a very funny way that will make him question his inner self. As a man, if you are not comfortable with your child's facial appearance and behavior, or you feel there is a course for alarm, then you need to do the needful bro! Get a DNA test done.

We have so many Jezebels in this generation parading their selves as house wives. Before I forget, women are not to be blamed in this alone. There are men in this society who were not properly trained by their parents too. I wonder why someone will see that a woman is fully married and still want to go after her?

Even in offices, we have badly raised male Bosses who are very fond of using job security as a bait to get into a woman's pant. They sexually harass their female workers knowing fully well that she is married with her ring sparkling from her finger.

The woman on the other hand, who is desperately in need of a job or to keep the present one she has, due to lack of employment in the country, will consider giving in to the demands of her Boss forgetting that he will definitely come back for more sex in the long run. A job that is built on sex will continued to sustained on sex.

When they get pregnant from multiple sex romp, they will end up bringing their Boss's child to their husbands. If you are a Boss and you are using job security to get sex from women, you need to stop. How will you feel if such behavior is meted out on your wife or female children? Treat others the same way you want to be treated.

Male Bosses are not alone in this evil act either. Even in our maternity homes and hospitals, such evil happens. I have heard stories of how Matrons/Patrons swap male for female children and vice versa without minding the future damage and trauma their actions might caused the family of their victims

"The simple solution to these problems is this: Men should be allowed to stay with their wives during child-bearing and also be given the opportunity to monitor the bathing or cleaning process of that child. After that, a DNA test should be carried out on that child alongside other tests like jaundice"

I believe, if these measures are put in place, it will save many marriages from destruction and also minimize extra marital activities. This will also save men from dying of heart attack, just like in the case of the recent FCMB saga. We have enough widows already in this present generation. We don't need more.

This has nothing to do with trust or not believing in your wife. It is about doing the right thing at the right time to avoid stories that touches the heart. This issue of men not being the biological father of one or more of their children needs to be handled with utmost urgency to avoid any further destruction of lives and families. SHALOM!!!

Osxaxs Edema